Back in elementary school, we are told that Marriage is the consensual and legal union of a man and a woman to become husband and wife. But this [definition] has been placed under a great threat with the spread of union between couples of same sex and this is eventually damaging the very first unit upon which the society is fabricated.

Away from the damaging effect of same sex union and the basic definition of marriage; experiences of people seem to have imprinted various definitions in the minds of people and these definitions relate either a feeling of bitterness or fulfilment to the world beyond the walls. Marriage has never been without challenges and only those who really understand its concept have the wherewithal to succeed in it.

What's the drive?
What actually influences one's decision to go into marriage? It is quite forgivable to see people go into marriage just because of love. However, I believe that for marriage to take place and stand the test of time; MATURITY is crucial and as marriage is concerned, maturity should be viewed from these critical angles: spiritual; financial; emotional and physical. This submission is not an unfamiliar one but man, time and again, tends to alienate himself from the fact that he needs to find himself first before he embarks on the pursuit of raising a home for himself. He must know his capabilities...plus he has to be financially and emotionally stable and should also not be tempted to think he can leave God out of the marriage equation.

Marriage, in its pure state, is meant to be enjoyed and well appreciated bit any 'union' that merely exist to bring two immature lovebirds together could lead to 'Marred-Age'- years of frustration and bitterness that imprisons an individual even against his/her will. A few weeks, attention was drawn to the news about the woman who stabbed her husband [to death] over his inability to make provisions available for Christmas celebration: what a tragic turn of event.

Parting shot
Marriage is one experience many wish to have yet it is a no-go-area to some persons who have directly or indirectly seen the unsavory side of marriage. Notwithstanding, some are loving the status of being 'married'. It is to this end that I leave you with this:
If you are not yet in; you have got to be careful before plunging into it...there's a right person for you but you do not have to rush in AND if you are in it but enduring the sequence of events unfolding in the home, I charge you to take some time out with your partner to work things out- do not leave things to chance. However, if you are enjoying it, I encourage you not to quench the flame...keep tolerating each other's shortcomings and growing through it to become better.

The choice to have that union end up in 'Marriage' or 'Marred-Age' lies in your hand. Hence, take heed that you do not toy with the idea of marriage. You can have a blissful home and future for yourself.

As someone once said: "Marriage is not a word...it is a life sentence": I hope you keep this in mind.

HAPPY NEW YEAR BUT WHERE DO [OR WILL] YOU STAND?
Indeed it's a new year and to have experienced it, is really worth thanking God for and rejoicing over; the sound of rejoicing borne out of the fact that you are counted among the lot that made it through. However, beyond the rapturous celebration that rent the air [in churches, street parties and even clubs] right from the very first second of the new year; let us take time to sincerely answer some pertinent questions:
Where will you be standing as the year rolls by?
What principles are you going to be holding dear?
What new habits are you forming to make your year blissful?
Do you still have efflux of negativities from the immediate outgone year lurking in the corner of your mind?
Have you thought of the fact that you in this 'moment' for the reason of accomplishing a mission- a mission that is tied to your destiny? This is one crucial reason why you have been afforded this time- you have been kept for a purpose which ought to be fulfilled in order to glorify the Almighty.
Answering these questions critically will help you forge a good and highly productive year for you. Also, it is expedient that we do away with old negative habits while leveraging on old positive habits and even forming new positive ones as you strive towards personal development. To this end, let us take a look at some salient negative habits that we have cultivated [and have ended up having detrimental effects on our development] over the years:
Unproductive relationship
Social media/TV addiction
Procrastination
Complaining
Worrying
Lack of gratitude
Lack of belief
Loss of focus/determination
The list could be quite endless based on the individuals involved but the aforementioned, remain among the major reasons why we give less than what we are less productive.

Excuse the 'new' from the 'old'
Matthew 9:17: ...Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”
The negative habits of the past should not be permitted to ruin the glorious year before you. Hence, the old wineskin- your old way of thinking- is a misfit for the new wine and viz...they should have nothing in common. Therefore, it would be of immeasurable benefit to stop the stream of old habits [some have been highlighted in the preceding paragraph] that can unleash frustration and nonfulfilment into your new year: you must cut the time you spend hobnobbing mobile devices and TV; you should break off from unproductive relationship; you do not have to let others dominate your time...
The year is still fresh and there's a burst of excitement to it and in order to sustain this excitement, you must be strongly determined to ensure that you do not follow through on your old habits of putting new wine in old wineskin...there must be a renewing of the mind.
So, what old habit(s) do you think might shipwreck your development and productivity and/or creativity this year? It's time to put them in check so that you can have a fruitful and happy year all round.
From me to you: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!...Wishing you a prosperous and glorious 2017...GET BETTER not bitter!

HAPPY NEW YEAR BUT WHERE DO [OR WILL] YOU STAND?
Indeed it's a new year and to have experienced it, is really worth thanking God for and rejoicing over; the sound of rejoicing borne out of the fact that you are counted among the lot that made it through. However, beyond the rapturous celebration that rent the air [in churches, street parties and even clubs] right from the very first second of the new year; let us take time to sincerely answer some pertinent questions:
Where will you be standing as the year rolls by?
What principles are you going to be holding dear?
What new habits are you forming to make your year blissful?
Do you still have efflux of negativities from the immediate outgone year lurking in the corner of your mind?
Have you thought of the fact that you in this 'moment' for the reason of accomplishing a mission- a mission that is tied to your destiny? This is one crucial reason why you have been afforded this time- you have been kept for a purpose which ought to be fulfilled in order to glorify the Almighty.
Answering these questions critically will help you forge a good and highly productive year for you. Also, it is expedient that we do away with old negative habits while leveraging on old positive habits and even forming new positive ones as you strive towards personal development. To this end, let us take a look at some salient negative habits that we have cultivated [and have ended up having detrimental effects on our development] over the years:
Unproductive relationship
Social media/TV addiction
Procrastination
Complaining
Worrying
Lack of gratitude
Lack of belief
Loss of focus/determination
The list could be quite endless based on the individuals involved but the aforementioned, remain among the major reasons why we give less than what we are less productive.

Excuse the 'new' from the 'old'
Matthew 9:17: ...Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”
The negative habits of the past should not be permitted to ruin the glorious year before you. Hence, the old wineskin- your old way of thinking- is a misfit for the new wine and viz...they should have nothing in common. Therefore, it would be of immeasurable benefit to stop the stream of old habits [some have been highlighted in the preceding paragraph] that can unleash frustration and nonfulfilment into your new year: you must cut the time you spend hobnobbing mobile devices and TV; you should break off from unproductive relationship; you do not have to let others dominate your time...
The year is still fresh and there's a burst of excitement to it and in order to sustain this excitement, you must be strongly determined to ensure that you do not follow through on your old habits of putting new wine in old wineskin...there must be a renewing of the mind.
So, what old habit(s) do you think might shipwreck your development and productivity and/or creativity this year? It's time to put them in check so that you can have a fruitful and happy year all round.
From me to you: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!...Wishing you a prosperous and glorious 2017...GET BETTER not bitter!

HOLD THE PIECES TOGETHER
You started the year with great expectations; putting up 'new' year resolutions with intense hope of fulfilling them- 'what to do' and 'what not to do': all geared toward the actualization of your major goal(s) but deep into the year and with barely one day to go, your efforts have yielded no substantial result and the year seems to be ending on a low for you with frustration and regret taking their toll on you. Certainly, the nonachievement of one's top goals could be quite dispiriting; leaving you with a feeling that life has not been fair to you but before you allow this submission perfuse your mind, have you considered the other pieces? The other pieces are those things you might have overlooked as 'little': the food on the table; the shelter over your head; the clothes that cover your nakedness; the ease with which you use the convenience; the unexpected favour you received from that stranger...to mention to mention but a few. Yes, you might have missed on those aspirations [of yours] and you think there is no cause to be glad but you need to look away from the failure that may be beclouding your mind and see the reason why you need to rejoice and it is for the fact that you are reading this today- you are alive. In this regard, this very moment is not one to mourn over what did not come to be but a moment to give thanks.

HOLD THE PIECES TOGETHER
You started the year with great expectations; putting up 'new' year resolutions with intense hope of fulfilling them- 'what to do' and 'what not to do': all geared toward the actualization of your major goal(s) but deep into the year and with barely one day to go, your efforts have yielded no substantial result and the year seems to be ending on a low for you with frustration and regret taking their toll on you. Certainly, the nonachievement of one's top goals could be quite dispiriting; leaving you with a feeling that life has not been fair to you but before you allow this submission perfuse your mind, have you considered the other pieces? The other pieces are those things you might have overlooked as 'little': the food on the table; the shelter over your head; the clothes that cover your nakedness; the ease with which you use the convenience; the unexpected favour you received from that stranger...to mention to mention but a few. Yes, you might have missed on those aspirations [of yours] and you think there is no cause to be glad but you need to look away from the failure that may be beclouding your mind and see the reason why you need to rejoice and it is for the fact that you are reading this today- you are alive. In this regard, this very moment is not one to mourn over what did not come to be but a moment to give thanks.
Your Breath: the most precious piece
It is important to hold the pieces together- a way of counting your blessings- and the dearest of all these, is your breath. Thus far, you have been preserved and you do not have to pay for the most essential thing- atmospheric oxygen/the breath of life- you need. It has been provided without a charge.
I could recall vividly how a beloved aunt of mine laid in bed, some years back, in need of an external source of oxygen [which came at a huge cost] as her respiratory system had failed in its capacity to draw in atmospheric oxygen...I could imagine the pain she went through. Life is indeed precious and it is the only reason why one can think of actualizing certain goals...without life, all hope is lost. So, before falling apart [in hopelessness] ponder on this: you have something that someone [in a silent city] wish they had hence cherish it and be thankful.
Gratitude evokes Hope
1Thessalonians 5:18: in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
This is a moment of thanksgiving to God, who has so preserved you. Even as you take stock of the outgoing year, it is expedient that you put up an attitude of praise, irrespective of what might have been this year. There is something about thanksgiving: it 'revitalizes' your hope for a brighter and better tomorrow. When you give thanks, you set yourself in position to receive more for 'it is in giving, that we receive'. Moreover, God's expectation from us is that we give Him thanks and to do this, you need not have a big dream accomplished but rather make those 'little' things count...hold the pieces together! Look back at 2016 with a grateful heart and enter into the new year with songs of praiseYour Breath: the most precious piece
It is important to hold the pieces together- a way of counting your blessings- and the dearest of all these, is your breath. Thus far, you have been preserved and you do not have to pay for the most essential thing- atmospheric oxygen/the breath of life- you need. It has been provided without a charge.
I could recall vividly how a beloved aunt of mine laid in bed, some years back, in need of an external source of oxygen [which came at a huge cost] as her respiratory system had failed in its capacity to draw in atmospheric oxygen...I could imagine the pain she went through. Life is indeed precious and it is the only reason why one can think of actualizing certain goals...without life, all hope is lost. So, before falling apart [in hopelessness] ponder on this: you have something that someone [in a silent city] wish they had hence cherish it and be thankful.

Gratitude evokes Hope
1Thessalonians 5:18: in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
This is a moment of thanksgiving to God, who has so preserved you. Even as you take stock of the outgoing year, it is expedient that you put up an attitude of praise, irrespective of what might have been this year. There is something about thanksgiving: it 'revitalizes' your hope for a brighter and better tomorrow. When you give thanks, you set yourself in position to receive more for 'it is in giving, that we receive'. Moreover, God's expectation from us is that we give Him thanks and to do this, you need not have a big dream accomplished but rather make those 'little' things count...hold the pieces together! Look back at 2016 with a grateful heart and enter into the new year with songs of praise.

ACT OUT YOUR SCRIPT: IN PURSUANCE OF EXCELLENCE
This is a sequel to the article on 'Write your own script: In pursuance of Excellence'. You can read it here: http://asknigeria.com.ng/topic/264/write-your-own-script-in-pursuance-of-excellence
If writing your own script does the work of stating out your vision for it to be read by men then acting it out takes it beyond the 'white paper'; it engraves your vision in the hearts of men whose lives, it is imparted upon. Without the intention of acting out the script, all effort is wasted [in scribbling the vision] and no work is done for according to a law in Physics: ' work is said to be done whenever there is a result (positive)- this may sound cruel but to cease from following the multitude, you must be committed to acting out your script.

Time is CRUCIAL!
Acting out your script requires urgency- you've got to do it without delay...for as the saying goes: 'Time waits for nobody'. It is not uncommon to hear of how procrastination stole away someone's promotion or gain and one must guard against this in order to make impact in life. You must disciplined not to let time slip out of hand by partaking in frivolity...each scene of your life should be engaged with a sense of purpose- this will help an individual attain his vision in time and it is from this that satisfaction or fulfilment exudes. Hence, run with your vision.

React OR Respond
Life, at various times, sets us different stages- pleasant or unscripted- that require us to act: this is where we get to either react or respond (being proactive). What we do most of the time is that we react rather than respond. We allow the flow of events to control us rather than we controlling the flow of events. Your reaction to life's unpredictable scenery makes you an antagonist while your response makes you a protagonist- keeping you in charge. Always remember:
It's YOU who is responsible for what stays with you;
It's YOU who have the final say as to who you hang out with;
It's YOU who decides what you do with your time...
You are ultimately responsible for YOU and how you go about your life on earth so, you should give accountability precedence as you act out your script.

Strive for Excellence
Excellence must be integrated into your life's scenes as you act out your script. Although Excellence might mean 'being without blemish' but this should not make one rule out the fact that mistakes are inevitable in life and this is why you must strive to get better; seeing mistakes as learning curves that birth something rewarding if you do not keep your eyes off your vision.
Your Value determines what life gives you
Your character is the function of the values you portray. Good character gives you the edge as you go through your stage plays. A set of good character is the magnet that attracts people to you and a very important one is HUMILITY. Here is one character that brings life's good your way thereby making you very fruitful. Maintaining good values eventually sets you on the path to excellence as you act out your script.
Conclusively, I will like to bring this to your remembrance: since God, your Maker is an excellent God and He has created you in His image and likeness; there is a seed of excellence deposited in you and you should let it blossom...so, strive for excellence. Roll out the scenes in your script NOW! ACTION!

YEAR 2017 SHOULD NOT START LATER THAN NOW
Most of the times, we wait until time catches up with us before taking a decision that is meant to shape our future. We are well aware of the fact that 'he who fails to plan, plans to fail' but we end up falling victims of unpreparedness and unfulfilled dreams. We leave things to fate and this eventually put us in a state of ineptitude that yields meagre reward...more often than not, man is the architect of his own rising or falling- not chance occurrences.
Every man or woman, whether rich or poor has been given equal amount of time per day [i.e 24hrs/day] to utilize but what makes the difference is how we put our time to use; the mental energy we expend in developing innovative means of making life better. As the saying goes: 'our today is a consequence of our many yesterdays'. However, we can take charge of tomorrow right now by mapping out strategies that will usher us into the desirable future we hope for.
The time zones of life
There are basically two critical time zones in the life of every man: 'NOW' or 'LATER'. The influence of the 'now' on the 'later' cannot be overemphasized. Failing to act now is the root of procrastination...and this could beget 'never'- one is robbed of what would have been his had he planned ahead and taken charge of his today.
For the purpose of this write-up; the 'now' requires that you start up your 2017 at this very moment- this is not asking that you start worrying about your tomorrow (2017) but that you plan ahead. Come to think of it: all that you have between 2016 and 2017 is relatively just a 'thin sheet of minutes' hence the need for you to set aside a quality chunk of what is left of year 2016 to plan towards a fulfilling and rewarding year 2017. Project into the new year and create a leverage for yourself.
New year resolution is not enough
Without a mind that is committed to excellence, talking up goals and having a mental knowledge of your desires will only leave you with a wish-wash- your aspirations and visions will lack flavour if you are not committed to actualizing them.
Following the trend of making new year resolutions with your heart not being in it, will consequently leave you with a backlog of activities. So as you approach year 2017, do not follow public opinion of wantonly making new year resolutions- scrap the word 'new year resolution' out of your thinking- and just resolve to be better right from this moment.
George S. Clason, in his book, 'the richest man in Babylon', wrote: "Preceding accomplishment must be desire. Thy desires must be strong and definite. General desires are but weak longings." Your desires for 2017 should be a function of your own decisions- not in the rituals of new year resolution. So, form the habit of setting priorities and this you can begin to practice NOW! You should not stop even if you do not get it right immediately...it is a dress rehearsal for a glorious 2017 and you will surely get it right in a short while.
Year 2017 starts in a brief...set your 'wheels' in motion NOW!

IS IT CHRISTMAS YET?
Though it is not yet Christmas but in retrospect, certain events that precede the 25th day of the year are enough to awaken the most extreme of introverts to the realities of Christmas. Safe for the injection of [Christmas] colours and articles and the rise in interstate travels- which is relatively reduced when compared to previous Christmas celebrations- the actuality facing us at the moment seem to betray the razzmatazz that is characteristic of this season...has Father Christmas suddenly become less generous? Pardon my blandness. The events that have immensely contributed to the current mood are known and felt [directly or indirectly] by everyone.
Recession bites hard
The economic downturn that the nation is enmeshed in, is definitely the number 1 reason for the way things are. Even though 'the chickens have not flown away from their cages', people still find it hard to get one as the price is looks to be beyond them: I got to know that one eye-catching and meaty chicken goes for 5,000 naira. As with chicken, the cost of other groceries have also skyrocketed...A friend once shared a post that tilt to the comical side: "You will eat rice on Christmas and new year day, may you not lick stew alone...": this truly paints a picture.
More surprisingly is the fact that some banks were even regulating the amount of money that is available to a customer- some customers could not take the amount they desired from their own account- as they (the banks) want to maintain cash flow. Long queues are now seen around ATMs...could it be that some banks are out of cash thus making the ones that have cash to get overcrowded.
The sounds of bangers have been knocked out
This season is one that those who love solitude will so much cherish as recession is making fireworks 'tub-thumpers' have a rethink. The sounds of bangers have not been rampant thus far and hardly do we see the sparkling effects in the air. The thoughts of having one stick lit up [for 50 naira] while 'the worms gnaw at the stomach lining' must have made those who cannot cope have a 'repentant' heart...come to think of it: would you rather get 50 naira burnt up at this moment? This Christmas would be a solemn one I perceive.
Nature seems to have a say
Dusty articles, dry air, dry skin and cracking of lips and so on are evident signs that usually come with this season. However, this is not the case for 2016 and I am tempted to ask: 'where has harmattan gone to? What has become of the 'dust-devil' that makes us 'smell' Christmas even amidst the air that had been deprived of humidity?
We will definitely not be able to deny the fact that the day (December 25th) has been set aside [by Christians] to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ but with all that is happening, one can be forgiven for asking: Is it really Christmas yet?
If your answer is YES! Then maybe it's time to humbly enjoin you to show some love and extend a hand to the one whose answer is NO!
The reason for the season is LOVE, I believe and this is a great time to spread the love.

WRITE YOUR OWN SCRIPT: IN PURSUANCE OF EXCELLENCE
"Write the vision...make it plain..." (Habakkuk 2:2)
To achieve something tangible in life, it is expedient to have a clear mental picture of the thing and then bring it to life by writing it down. Why do I have to write it down since I have it in my head? - Writing it down helps to keep it fresh and gives you a reason [and confidence] to go for its actualization. Plus He who fails to write his own script, ends up telling the vision of others...we watch soap opera, football, talent hunt shows on TV without realizing- or rather being negligible of the fact- that we are watching [and subsequently aiming to tell] the vision(s) of others for he/she who is overtaken by television [or engrossed in watching things happen], lives to tell the visions of others. Meanwhile each and every one of us is expected, by our Maker, to be unique in his/her own way and this entails writing one's script with definiteness of purpose.
Consider this: The sculptor goes out to work out an image from a quarry; his chisel and mallet, shaping out the minutest of details with mastery and tenacity amidst the drops and trinkets of sweat that come forth...this, he does with a strive for excellence. Furthermore, no great script writer goes to work haphazardly: there is first an inspiration [which is further transmitted into 'black and white'] then brainstorming; mapping out plot, setting; character building and strategic planning geared towards dishing out a work that catches the fancy of his intended audience. Writing your life's script must be done with a yearning for excellence.
Monologue OR Dialogue?
Your life's script would from time to time vary between being monologue [whereby a soliloquy is eventually played out] or dialogue BUT one thing is be certain: you are always involved and this is where the uniqueness lies. You might be the protagonist or antagonist based on how you choose to react or respond to life itself.
Leave an indelible mark
Your script is your vision- the REASON for your BEING and of a truth, you might not always have your way but you have got to write it down in such a way that those who read it, even before seeing you act it out, will have an impressionable anamnesis about you. You are the main character in this 'play' hence your values must be integrated into your script for this would serve as the 'wand' that pulls or repels people from you...you cannot get to satisfy everyone anyway. Also, in writing your script, you must note that the plot, setting and characters that come into the play (your life) might be ones that are beyond your control to determine their appearance BUT never beyond your control to respond to.
You are a story waiting to be told...and this will not happen except there is a script in place. Don't just sit around to view the finished script of others; let them tell your own. Here is a question for you:
WHEN WILL YOUR SCRIPT BE READY?

THE DEBACLE BEHIND REPRESENTING A NATION
I have been pondering over the issues surrounding the unpaid bonuses and allowances of the Nigerian Female football team that has thus far degenerated into an open show of shame extending to the international media scene.
Having placed the nation's name on the pedestal of glory for the umpteenth time; why should the very ones who have given us a reason to celebrate be treated with misprision as had been visited upon them by those in charge of football administration. If the labour of our past heroes should never be in vain, why should our heroes in the present time sweat off the field of duty before getting what is rightfully theirs...a labourer certainly deserves his/her reward.
The Falcons became champions of Africa for the eighth time and this was to 'the surprise' of the sports minister who did not expect to make a winning return- a dent on the ministry which ought to be the no. 1 motivator [aside self-motivation] of any team representing the country's interest in international competitions: this raises eyebrow on the competence of those entrusted with administrative responsibilities in this area. Maybe it would have been better to rescind our participation and not bother expending taxpayers on an 'unproductive' mission [when one considers the minister's unguarded submission].
The players have had to go on an unprecedented bout of protest to make their grievances [over unpaid entitlements] known and to the NFF administrators is: why do they have to wait for a protest before things get done? Much to the distastefulness [as seen via social media] of Nigerians, the NFF President, Amaju Pinnick did come out to say that the protesting players will be banned from national team duties and that he will even go ahead to report them to their respective clubs. But does the NFF President really size up his words before uttering them?
Banning them after their meritorious feat goes to show an abuse of human resources-'use and dump'- since he perceives that there are others who will gladly take their (the present crop of players) place without ruminating over what had befallen their victorious and 'protesting' compatriots. The disposition of the NFF President is not only a betrayal to the players [whose interest he ought to protect] but also denial of the office he is holding. And to report these players to their clubs overseas would yet broaden the show of shame which he has failed to realize.
Issues over unpaid allowances have bedeviled the Nigerian sports sector for a long time and one wonders if this would ever stop. Apart from unavailability and non-maintenance of sporting infrastructures, one major reason why Nigeria will continually lose great talents to well organised countries, is substandard welfare and poor human management skills hence those who claim to be 'patriotic' need not be harsh on those who have tolled the line of choosing the better option available to them. The Super Falcons definitely have no option of trading allegiance but one thing is sure: every well-meaning Nigerian stand with them as they aim to claim what is theirs.
Report reaching media outlets has it that the Federal Government has ordered the release of funds to offset the money owed the players and I hope this get to them on time. Female football deserves more and representing the nation's interest should be dissolved of the kind of debacle that we are experiencing at the moment.

"My mind told me to do it but I never wanted to take a chance
so I stayed back cos of the fear of failure"
"I should have done that...I could have been the one celebrating
or being celebrated now"
Many are the scenarios that paint the picture of man's attempt to take a decision [that leaves his name in the sands of time] but the negatives in his mind kept him rooted to the spot [of unaccomplishment]. This occurs from trying out something with the minutest of details to making life changing decisions, whereby man's failure to do this, has contributed to making the grave 'the greatest reservoir of talents'.
The comfort zone is a state of the mind whereby one naturally feels very secured- though falsely. It is a state that assuages to the helplessness of its denizens who have come to see reasons for not wanting to try- a disposition of no risk. Staying in the comfort zone keeps one's potentials 'locked up in a box'. However, it must be noted that the comfort zone is not just a place in time but a conception [which cages potentials] in season.
A story is told of a convicted murderer whom, the Judge, gave the grace to choose between facing a firing squad and walking out of the prison's door whereupon lies freedom [which was oblivious to the convict who died, having gone with the option of facing the firing aquad]. He flowed in the direction to which his mind had consigned- death and nothing more...he chose to comfort himself with the prospect of facing the squad. Although the comfort zone is not a place where a purpose oriented person wants to be but its allure could so gripping that one fails to see its crippling effect thus to get out of the comfort zone, you have got to PUSH and fight your way out.
The comfort zone is not a position to occupy for goal-getters. Hence, a man who is on a mission does not stay at his comfort zone; he finds a way to explore. I believe the very first stage of breaking free from anything is by 'telling oneself the raw truth' and in this regard, if you have been crippled by your comfort zone and I desire a way out, it is expedient that you expunge the fear of the 'unknown'- what lies on the 'other side'. It's time to exit your comfort zone and break forth. To exit your comfort zone, you must:
Change your mindset. What has given you that state of false security in the zone you find yourself, are the philosophies that you have come to believe through the course of time and these have left you coasting with the tides of life rather setting the sail to suit the fulfillment of your purpose. Changing your mindset will not come easy as a struggling is inevitable...the new horizon your heart craves for might appear strange but it is in this unfamiliarity that life is born. Afterall, the world was a strange for us all once upon a time.
Fuel your vision. Nothing significant ever happens at the comfort zone; it is not a place for an individual who has a purpose in life. So, in order to achieve purpose, you must consistently fuel your vision as you zealously pursue your goals. When you do this, you comfort zone will begin to get 'uncomfortable'- the struggle becomes tense- for you because of what is stirring you.
Have Faith. The belief you have in what you hold true, gives you the courage to face your fears. Without facing your fears, your comfort zone 'homes you in'. Faith helps you to keep some degree of confidence even when the coast is not yet clear...the faith you have in what you stand for tells the world you are ready to take up the challenge life is throwing your way.
Launch out into the deep. Attempting to exit your comfort zone without repositioning is like wandering through a perimeter. Launching into the deep is a step into the discovery of the real YOU and this is the most crucial stage of BECOMING- living a purpose-driven. Once you have conquered your fears through faith, you need to take the launch and let the world see and have a feel of your substance. In the words of Shannon L. Alder: "Life always begins with one step outside of your comfort zone"...Life is an adventure; you've got to go beyond the surface to get the most out of it.
The comfort zone begets a low or no life and this is quite appealing BUT this is not where you are created to be...there is more to you than your comfort zone can deliver to you...escape from that zone now and BREAK FORTH!